Probably more than you'll ever want to know- 100 things about me

1. Lets start from the beginning- I was born in Auburn, California
2. I lived in Foresthill, Ca for 18 years
3. I moved to Oregon for 2 years
4. I lived with my mom in Oregon
5. I ended up moving in with her because my dad and I had a fight
6. I wanted to visit her for the summer then decide whether or not I wanted to stay for school. He said, no, you'll decide now
7. I said fine, I'll go stay there for a year.
8. I was in Oregon the next week.
9. My dad is a really great guy, I was just a horrible child. (there was more to the argument than I'll fess up to here)
10. I've gotten a lot smarter since I was 14.
11. Instead of referring to my clostest/best friends as friends, I usually end up calling them my "sister"
12. I've had two of these "sisters" that I have referred to as "sister" most often.
13. I've known my "sister" Beth since I was about a year old.
14. I grew up in the same town as both sets of my grandparents.
15. My fondest memories from when I was little were with them.
16. I used to go fishing with Grandma and Grandpa N- and Carl (if you met him Brenda)
17. Carl was one of Grandpa and Grandma's card buddies. Carl used to let me put the bait on his hook.
18. I remember one of the last times I talked with Grandpa N. before he passed away.
19. We were playing cards, and I was winning.
20. This time, he wasn't letting me win.
21. One of the things he said was "Be nice to me, I'm sick."
22. I told him, you're not sick, you're just having surgery, you'll be fine. (That was in August, and He was fine, until he had a stroke...)
23. My favorite card game, thanks to those grandparents, is Shanghi Rummy.
24. I can't even remember how old I was when I started playing, but I am pretty sure I was in elementary school.
24. My other grandpa taught me to sort the M&Ms by color before I ate them.
25. I still can't eat different colored candies without sorting them first.
26. I don't care how silly it seems.
27. I've always known that M&Ms tasted best out of his dispenser.
28. Before he died, he promised me (multiple times) that I would get it when he died.
29. I don't have it. My grandma does.
30. I'm not trying to be selfish. We just had an agreement.
31. I promised him I would always keep it full.
32. He called me his Baby Girl.
33. I'm really happy I got to tell him I love him before he died.
34. I'm also really thankful that Neil was such a good sport. He joined me in the hospital when Grandpa was a little delirious.
35. I am a huge Frank Sinatra fan.
36. No, I don't care whether or not he was involved in the mob.
37. No, I also don't care how much he slept around. The man can sing!
38. If I could meet anyone dead or alive, I think I would have chosen Frank.
39. If I could have a superpower, I would want to breathe underwater.
40. Actually, I would choose the ability to take pain away from others and onto myself.
41. I really don't go to church as much as I should. But I am trying to define my beliefs for myself...
42. I used to play the congas in the worship team up in Oregon.
43. That was why I kept going back to the church.
44. When we went down to Mexico on our mission trip, I was asked to play with Pete (my fellow conga drummer!) and the Mexico church's all acoustic guitar and vocal group, La Rondalla.
45. I've never played in front of that many people before.
46. I wish I had a group to play with now.
47. I have never really liked my name.
48. My dad wanted to name me Yohanna.
49. I'm not sure whether he wanted to spell that with a J or a Y.
50. My mom wanted to name me Natalie.
51. Right now, I like Natalie better.
52. I've always wished my name were Michelle.
53. I know my name isn't that bad. I just know too many boys with the same first and or middle name too.
54. One morning when I woke up, I noticed you can make any other number on a digital clock out of an 8
55. 8 have been my favorite number ever since.
56. Neil spoils me
57. I don't mind.
58. I spoil him too sometimes. He hates it.
59. I love to cook, but am not always creative.
60. I love fish.
61. I think I could live off of shrimp, scallops, halibut, and crab.
62. Maybe not. I like my carbs a little too much.
63. I need to lose weight.
64. About 30 pounds would be nice.
64. I just like to eat too much.
65. I sleep with a teddy bear.
66. But use it as a body pillow.
67. I am bummed that my parents live in different states.
68. I want my kids to grow up knowing their grandparents as well as I knew mine.
69. I want an outdoor wedding.
70. I will never be able to repay my mom for bringing me down to California before my best friend died.
71. I was able to tell her goodbye.
72. I honestly think she was waiting for me to say "okay" before she let go.
73. While I don't remember it when I think of her, I will never forget how she looked in the hospital bed.
74. I don't care.
75. I listen to country music.
76. Aside from Ol Blue Eyes, my favorite musician is Paul Wright.
77. I went to church with him up in Oregon. He now has a contract with Gotee records.
78. If money were no matter, I would love to travel, learn photography, and set up an art studio at home.
79. I love working with clay.
80. I always get stuck at this number when counting. I cannot remember what comes after 79.
81. I have won awards for some of the projects I have made.
82. Including two "Best of Shows"
83. I would give my life for any of my friends or family.
84. That usually also includes people I just met.
85. I try to be compassionate/caring in that way.
86. I get worried that people don't like me.
87. It comes from living in a house for 2 years where a certain person (who shall go nameless) made me feel like I was worthless.
88. I gave up. I made a rather unfortunate conclusion.
89. I am a family person.
90. Even really extended family is family to me.
91. Everyone so far we've found with our same last name (spelling) is realted to us in one way or another.
92. I love that.
93. I used to not want to take on a husband's last name.
94. Now I wouldn't mind. (Especially if it is Neil's last name!)
95. I have a spending problem.
96. I've don't have proof that I've ever broken a bone.
97. But I did take a face dive in PE in 7th grade. I scared the secretary when I walked into the office.
98. My brother called me Scarface for a month.
99. Now he calls me Sparky.
100. I think I could go on...

Sorry folks

I definitely don't win the award for most consistant posting, that's for sure.

Thursday night was my roomate Shelby's 21st birthday, and we had a little shin-dig at our apartment. Low key- no police were called, although the neighbor did come asking us to quiet down. Turns out it wasn't us at all, it was the guy actually below her (she lives diagonally above us, and is not a nice person anyhow). Yeah...

Friday night, two of my friends from Chico State came down to hang out. We went out to dinner, back to my place, watched movies... Nothing too exciting there.

Saturday, goodness. I forgot what I did for a minute. Saturday one of my other good friends came up to Neil's house and hung out for a while. Sunday was football, last night was homework, and now we're back to Tuesday.... Boring aren't I?

Things went better than expected today; a lot of drama I anticipated didn't happen at all, thankfully. I hadn't heard from my mom since Saturday when I called her after my golf class, and I started not liking that. So I e mailed her. Then, I realized that when my best friend was hospitalized with her chemo almost 4 years ago, I heard everything after the bad stuff had already passed. I don't want that to happen with my mom. All of a sudden, not having talked to her since Saturday freaked me out. So I wrote her again, and asked that if I don't get in touch with her one way or another, that she tries to keep me updated every other day- at least a short little e mail saying "not feeling too hot today, but feeling hot because its arizona and forecasted to be in the 100s today again..." You know, quick and easy I'm still here stuff...

She knows, and I know, that I am positive about her treatment, and that she will be fine. Its not that I think she will react to the chemo the same way I think Tawnya did. Its just that my brain has a habit of turning things into something else and overreacting. She wrote me back and said she had been thinking about me too.

Then she did what I asked her too, and filled me in on her condition. Now, some of you who have ready my blog before know that if I could have any one super power, breathing underwater (come on, how cool would that be...) would only come second to having the power to take pain/illness away from someone else and onto myself. So hearing that My MOM, one of the most awesome people I know, is achy, lightheaded, and constantly feeling wiped out is not fun for me. My mom does not sit still. She is usually always in the garden, the yard, at church, at work, or of course, with the grandkids.

I know being sick is not the same as having your body basically poisoned to kill off the cancer, but I do know that, especially for a person as active as she, not having enough energy to do what you want to do is no fun. And knowing that she will be feeling like this off and on for, what? 6 months? I'm having a hard time with it.

All I know is, I'm so thankful to finally have a place of my own (if you can call an apartment with two other roomates that... LOL) and to have the friends and family I do have. If I were still in my previous living situation, I would be falling apart even more. If I did not have the most wonderful man God ever created standing by my side, I would probably be worthless. And honestly, its not that I don't believe my mom won't come through this- I know she will. Its that I can't stand to see her go through it! Especially since I can't be there. 4 days in December is too short, and not soon enough. I've got to start looking at my calendar and see what else I can do.

Meanwhile, anyone who has any good ideas for activities that my mom can do, alone or with the kids (hey now, my brothers and I will always be her "kids"- we're just bigger kids) that won't completely wipe her out, please pass them on. Sitting at home for such an active person is getting old. She's been scrapbooking, has books, movies, puzzles... LOL we're running out of ideas. And while she doesn't have a lot of energy, even little trips/things that will get her up and around would be nice. I just can't think of any! Ideas or no, thanks for the ideas. I'm feeling a little better just having written this, and need to hit the road before they start shutting down lanes (they're doing construction on the interstate out here, and have been shutting down 2 of 3 lanes- i'm fine with that, but I have a major pet peeve about the people who wait until the absolute last nanosecond to merge. Last week, I left enough room for four cars to get in front of me, and every single one of the cars passed- goodness there must have been at least 100- and of course, at the end of the lane, they expect everyone to just let them right on in when they've had 5 miles of "Lane Closed" warnings! just merge already you ... hahaha.. won't say that word now..)

Happy writings...

Scaring the crap out of my teacher...

I have nutrition class on Tuesday nights. Last night, we were supposed to come to class prepared to work out a little- the teacher had prepared a work-out we could do easily at home or anywhere else, without needing any gym equipment. I went to class prepared, but unable to concentrate because I have been fighting off a migrane/tension headache for the last few days.

We started the exercises, and knowing I have asthma, and that sometimes the attacks come on a little harder with exercise, I took it a little easy. Apparently, not easy enough. Half way though the routine, I grabbed my inhaler and flashed it to the teacher as I ran out the door.

I'll tell you here and now you will never find me smoking a cigarette because I have seen first and foremost what it does to someone. Oh sure, one might have a few years with no problems, but before too long, one will start to notice slowly not being able to catch their breath as well. I watched my grandpa struggle to breathe as we both grew older, and I saw not only how he could barely walk around the house, but how his poor health affected the rest of our family. But back to my point.

When I ran out the door, no one followed me, but I didn't want anyone too. I had flashed the inhaler to the teacher as I ran out, so that she knew I wasn't ditching. I quickly walked outside and around the corner of the building and used my inhaler. By that point, not only did I feel like I couldn't get any air into my lungs, but it felt like my throat was closing up as well. I started feeling like I was choking, and quickly walked to the bathroom to avoid throwing up in front of everyone or in a path frequently travelled. A second shot with the inhaler and I was breathing a little better, but still struggled to catch my breath.

The whole time I was having trouble, I was thinking about my mom. I was trying to stay calm so as not to aggrivate it more, and I started thinking of what makes me feel more comfortable. Well, Mom starts Chemo today, so thinking about her made me want her here, and I got more upset because she really couldn't be here.

Either the Albuterol of the shock of the attack always makes me shaky (I think its more of the Albuterol- when I use it but am only starting to have trouble breathing, I still shake, even if I stay calm, which I am pretty good at doing. The shock and stress comes on after I can breathe again.) and my heart was racing. I had walked back to the classroom, and was still sitting outside trying to get a hang on everything when the class had a break. A nice guy (whose aunt manages the apartment complex I live in) stopped to ask if I was okay, and when I figured everyone had made it out of the classroom I went back inside to sit down. It was cooling down outside, and with the shaking, the cool was only making it worse. My teacher broke off her conversation with another student, and came to ask me if I was okay.

She saw how much I was shaking, and checked my pulse. I usually have a fairly high heart rate anyway, but with the attack it was soaring. (Sorry, I don't have an exact number for all of you other medcally interested people.) That scared her as it was, but I was still wheezing, so she was even more concerned. She asked if I wanted fruit, water, or what else she could do, but at that point, there was nothing more to do (that I knew of) than to wait for it all to calm down again. Connie (teacher) led me back outside, brought out some of the cut melons she had brought as a snack, and had another girl sit outside with me until I could breathe okay and stop shaking. (Which was cool because a storm was coming in and we were able to watch the lightning strikes on the horizon.)

An hour and a half later, I was still shaking. Granted, when I shake, it is usually just one side/extremity. Last night, it was my right arm. Class got out, and everyone went home. By that time, if I could hold on to something, the shaking was a little better. I was a little hesitant, but felt I could drive. Connie lives in the same apartment complex that I do, and though I politely refused a ride home (there was no way to get my manual transmission car home) she did follow me to the complex to ensure I made it safely. We parted ways, and as soon as I parked I called her to thank her (I really felt like giving her a big hug, but was not about to walk across the complex to do so- so, I am going to try to come up with something neat to get her as thanks instead) and let her know I was making it to my door in safety.

Still shaking slightly and trying not to cough, by the time I finally was able to lie down, I felt so wiped out I could barely move. Oh my mind was racing, and I had a hard time falling asleep, but my body felt like I had swam across the San Francisco Bay. It is always hard breathing after an asthma attack. One breath in too deep, and a coughing fit will start. If you're like me and you cry a little bit because of the stress, you can't breathe in through your nose. When I finally lay down, I found I had to ease myself down in order to avoid the fit. I called my mom, but had to cut the call short. Mind still racing, I popped in a DVD, and soon enough was able to fall asleep.

I consider myself lucky. I have never been to the hospital for an asthma attack, don't take medication for it daily, and rarely have the attacks. I keep trying to convince myself part of the asthma is really me being out of shape, but in reality I know that is not entirely true. It doesn't help, but asthma is asthma unfortunately. I am still tired today. I can't wait to go home and go to bed early! The only thing I have to do when I get home is clean the bathroom so it is presentable for people coming over tomorrow (tomorrow is my roomate Shelby's birthday- a few friends/famly are coming over to celebrate, and our bathroom is the "shared" bathroom that does not involve going into a bedroom to get to). And today is going slow! Let's get it moving! Please!

$189OUCH

My brother Garrett and I used to have similar eating habits. By that, I don't mean that we ate the same foods, had cravings for the same things, but that we both go through spurts where we will either a) eat anything and everything we can or b) hardly eat anything at all. This never used to be a problem for me. But lately, its been the everything kick I've been on. Except it seems to be not 'everything' that I'm eating, but how much of whatever I'm eating I'm eating.
When I went to Oregon in June for my cousin Karen's wedding, I went prepared to hear the fat jokes, and comments about the weight I have gained since I saw that side of my family last. Now, in all fairness, I am not really fat. I've just put on a good almost 30 pounds since I had seen them last. And none of it is in height.
I left California prepared, because my aunt Kathy's house is famous for picking on people. Not in a harsh and demeaning way, but that is just the way it goes in their house. If one of the kids brings home a new boyfriend or girlfriend, they have to pass the test of dealing with the pickingon and jokes. Since the last time I have been there, it had toned down a little. No one commented on my weight but me. I warned my mom ahead of time, and when I walked out to meet her, she said "You have put on a little bit." The look on her face was surprise. My aunt, however, was a little more comforting. "You have gained a little bit, but you're fine, and you'll lose it."
Well, I have not lost anything. I'm having a hard time getting to the point of trying. I've changed how I eat a little, and its changing more every day. I just can't get back into the kick of exercising. And its amazing how much you don't realize you've put on until the season starts changing and you have to find the clothes for that season. I found mine, and they didn't fit. Ok, the tops do, but the pants don't.
Since I was so bored last night, knowing I have TWO pairs of long pants that fit, I went out to find more. And I did. So that I'm covered, I ended up spending $189. Considering what all I bought, that actually isn't bad. But, I realized I can't find half of the shirts I had, so I need to get more of those too. Great....
Anyway, its football Sunday, and Neil has Direct TV for the very reason that he can have the Sunday Ticket and watch all of the games he possibly can. I'm off to go join him. We're having Tri-tip for dinner... Yum. I think I'll pick up some baby reds and a sweet potato or two to cook up with it... Green beans or brussel sprouts? Green beans.

In a whole new world now.

I'm young. The job I have is the only "real" job I have ever had, and calling it real might be pushing it. (I have also had 2 other cleaining jobs, one of which is current, and every-other weekend.) I also lost the last copy of the resume I had prepared. Granted, I would not be able to use it now, but it would at least remind me where to start. I went online to try to apply for this one job online tonight, and they want a resume and a cover letter- I have neither. It is a really cool position in a hospital just down the road, in the rehab division. It doesn't sound too different from what I am currently doing, but is in a different area than I have ever worked before. Not only have I never prepared paperwork for a formal interview before, but I have never quit before. Its scary. But it needs to be done. I called my old boss today (he used to work for/was part owner of the company I am at now.) to make sure he would be a reference for me, and to tell him Happy Birthday. He was getting ready to go to his brother's house, but it sounded like the party started a little early. LOL I'm glad he's having fun. Meanwhile, I've found that I only have two pairs of long pants that fit, and I am off to go try to find more. I just hope I can also find something to eat! hahaha.... I hope you're having a great morning/afternoon/evening/whatever.

Who said anything about being bored?

LOL This is what happens when you stay at home on a Friday night because you are on call, have to be at a place an hour away an hour too early the next morning, and are alone. My two cool roomates, Shelby and Layce, went to Layce's sister's house. I was invited, but an hour too early an hour away does not sound like fun after a late night out. Actually, an hour too early an hour away doesn't sound fun tomorrow at all, but if I don't go, I get dropped from this class. Next week, when we get out to the driving range, it will not be so bad. Except I haven't been to the range at all this summer, and I can bet its not going to be pretty.
My project for the next week- get the golf clubs and hit a range before class Saturday! Ack!

I am in a really good mood right now. I have been in kind of a funk lately, but its all PMS related... Well, work played a part too, but if the former hadn't been a problem, the latter would received a lesser reaction. Its amazing what moving out will do to a kid. I came back to California for my senior year, to graduate with the kids I have known my whole life, and spend more time with my grandparents. As I mentioned in a previous post, when Tawnya, my best friend aka "sister" died, I started changing. I cut off some of my closest friends (mainly Mandy, in Oregon. Mandy, again, I am sorry I wasn't there for you as a friend should have been. You are awesome, and I thank for for sticking behind me all this time. Can you believe its been four years!?!?!?) while simultaneously finding ways to draw closer to my grandparents.

Strange segue: Around the same time Tawnya was in the hospital, we learned my grandpa J had an aneurysm, and a large one at that. My aunt Maggie (the only aunt I have left in California!) was also having a 50th birthday party. The weekend we ended up going down to California, Keilani (sister in law- Ben's wife) was in labor with Jaden. We also ended up going down the same weekend as Aunt Maggie's birthday. I hadn't known just how bad Tawnya's condition was. But I had a feeling that when Jaden was born, I would lose either Tawnya or Grandpa J. The day I left California, Jaden was born. I remember telling Tawnya's family before I left the hospital that day (thanks mom, for letting me talk you into stopping by again on the way to the airport), and seeing a couple of tears fall. I knew. I went home, went to school the next day, came home to a message on the answering machine I will never forget. "Hi Jamie, this is Auntie Dee. I just called because we wanted you to know that they are going to go ahead and turn the machines off today...."

At the end of the school year, I booked it back down to California. I'm not saying I'm the perfect grandchild (heaven knows I'm not), nor am I saying I spent every spare minute with my grandparents. But I am saying that I made the right decision. I grew up living right down the street from BOTH of my sets of grandparents. They actually lived within walking distance of each other! I've spent a lot of time with both sets, and my brothers have too. They got to go camping with the Grandparents J when they were little, but by the time I was little but old enough to go too, it seems Grandpa's empyhsema kicked in, and I never got to go on those trips. I think I've always felt like that meant I HAD (voluntarily, on my part) to spend more time with them otherwise. We did puzzles, read books, ate dry cereal out of coffee mugs, shared M&Ms, and played a baseball game. I love the memories I have from spending time with them.

I am also glad I could be there for later, more serious things. I was there when Grandma J fell going into the beauty shop and broke her nose. I was there when Grandpa passed out (for the second time that morning) and went down to the hospital (again, for the second time that MORNING) and took Grandma down to the hospital. That time, he was admitted. Then came a rush of phone calls, a couple of quick plane flights, and Grandpa got to see his second great-grandson from my brother before he died. Okay, so that doesn't sound too happy. I did get to chat with Grandpa a few more times, shared a few dinners with them, had our ritual "I love you Grandpa" "I love you too, baby girl, I always will" "I will always love you too Grandpa" chat, and he was able to meet and get to know Neil a little bit too. (Brenda, I wish there was some way Neil could have met Grandpa N! They would have gotten along so well!) Every extra minute I can spend with my grandparents is a minute extra I have always treasured. They're too cool to ditch and ignore.

On a lighter note, Arizona means that I get to see my nieces and nephews again! I haven't seen Miranda, Alyssa, or Jaden for two years. (The fourth, Riley, was the second great-grandson my grandpa got to see before he died. That was just over a year ago.) I'm bummed Neil can't be there, because I want him to get to know my family a little more (me loving to spend time with him goes without saying). I'm also bummed that all of this is happening right now, because I love Neil's family, and I would LOVE to go see them too. LOL We need to get on a better schedule.

I moved out in July. Its probably one of the best things I have ever done. Not just because I was still living with my dad, but how uncomfortable I felt being there, thanks to the step-mom. I have made a rather unfortunate conclusion on her, but I would rather not post it publicly here. I may be completely wrong. Since I moved out, I've gotten back to being closer to my old self, granted 3 years older and (name a number) many years more mature. Which means right now I am an odd combination between the outgoer I was until the Spring Semester of my junior year, and the the person I have since grown to be. I don't honestly know how to explain it. I am happy, and that is really fun to be. This is the first time in 3 years that I have been this happy, been able to say "Great!" enthusiastically when asked how I am! Its Awesome. Of course, being in love helps too, but hey....

Guess who's going to Arizona for Christmas!

Yeah, if you really had to guess that's just too bad. Its me! Silly. I bought the tickets, forward the itinerary, and the only bad thing is that I can't stay as long as I would like. Four days. At least its time, and means not spending Christmas feeling alone. I just hope whoever I end up taking a job from understands the meaning of family priority! Come to think of it, if they don't, I don't want to work there.
Tomorrow, I call my former boss (a really cool guy) to tell him happy birthday and ask for advice, and to make sure he will be a reference for me.

I'm so excited. I have the plane tickets, that means I have to go or I lose the $$$... Not good.

Costa Rica, November 2004

Last November, Neil's brother Ray got married down in Costa Rica, where their mom usually lives. (I say usually because she also has a house stateside, and travels to see friends/family a lot.) Luckilly, I had vacation built up, and was able to spend a wonderful two and a half weeks with Neil's family and friends down in Costa Rica. Talk about a great trip! I only wish I had more pictures!

The day after the wedding, it had been arranged for a group of at least 10 of us to go out on this yacht. The bride, her parents and step-parents, the groom, his friends, her kids, Mum, her friends, a few local friends, Neil and I. One of the beaches we stopped at had white and black sand, that created interesting patterns on the ground. Every wave changed the pattern, form, shape, and texture. I couldn't resist taking this picutre.

This is the yacht we were all on. The little pontoon on the right and the rope the anchor is attached to come into play with this next picture, and at the same beach...

You can just barely see Neil and one of the other guys on the other side... Yes, you are right, this is a cave. The cave went straight through the penninsula. The yacht guides said "Don't go in the cave when the tide is coming in. You might get stuck on the other side." Well, beer was involved, and a few of the guys decided it didn't look so dangerous after all. Funny thing was, the tide was coming in. (Okay, its not funny at all.)

The first two over realized half way through the cave that it was not their best idea. As soon as they got over, a couple of other guys thought the first two were yelling for more beer. ( Apparently, 'stay there' sounds a lot like 'Bring Beer!' when you've been drinking the said beverage.) Each guy that went over realized half way through the cave that it was a bad idaea, but no one could get back through. Soon enough, five guys were stuck on the other side of the penninsula.

Now this was no ordinary penninsula. The cave, as you can see, is solid rock. So were the walls and the area the guys were now stuck in. There was a little outcrop they were able to sit or stand on, but no beach. Two of them decided to scale the straight rock wall, while the others decided to swim around the penninsula. One made it over the top, and the other got stuck. So, they pulled the rope off of the anchor, ran up the hill, tossed it down to him, and prayed he didn't fall. He didn't, but he did lose his wedding ring within 24 hours of saying "I do."

While the captain was at the top of the cliff trying to rescue Neil's brother, the men from his boat took the pontoon around to the other side of the penninsula and picked up the swimmers. Long story short, everyone made it home safe, and everyone else was glad no one got hurt.

Moral to the story- don't mix beer, tides and testosterone.

Geckos are everywhere (literally) at night in Playa de Coco.

I was lucky enough to be able to play at Hacienda Pinilla Golf Course in the Guanacaste Region, with Neil's mom, her best friend, and Neil. I won't tell you what I shot, but I will tell you I had fun.

Brenda, this one is for you!

So now that I am figuring out how to post pictures, I'm actually having quite a bit of fun with it.... hahahahahahaha... But I suppose it is all good- you'll see more who I am, and who I care the most about. So far, you've seen my Honey (awesome... really he is) and some pictures from my vacations. Now, on for some of my favorite people!

My cousin Karen got married in June, giving me a darn good reason to head back up to Oregon for a week and take a semi-long, well deserved vacation. One of my favorite things about that trip, was getting to see and spend time with my mom, who is one of the best people you could ever meet. I am so proud of my mom, and so thankful for all that she has done for me. There is no way I could ever repay her! (Read: She gave me time. When my best friend was diagnosed with leukemia in 2002, my mom flew with me down to California. This 3 day trip allowed me to see my best friend, whom I usually refer to as my sister, before she died. Granted, she was on life support and unconscious, but I know she heard what I said. This has made a huge difference both on how I was able to deal with her death, and how I view my relationships. Thanks Mom, you mean the world to me!) Aren't we just the coolest chicks you've ever seen?

I couldn't get the shading right when I was editing this picture... So Grandma looks a little washed out. But this is how awesome my brother is: he bought tickets for Grandma, Dad, step-mother, himself and his wife, Honey and I to go to a Giants' home game in May. Not only did he buy the tickets, he provided the transportation and is an awesome SBC park guide. It was Grandma's first major league baseball game, and both of our first times at SBC Park. Perfect ending to the night- the Giants won 10-2 versus the Dodgers! (Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.!)

Photography- something I could stand to learn more about!

So, I've been meaning to get on here and post some pictures, but my Honey needed to use my laptop last night, therefore leaving me unable to post! (All of my newest pictures are on here, and I don't have a desktop computer. Besides, he was generous enough to give this to me as a birthday present last year, and is a computer nerd (not a bad thing) and we share almost everything anyway.) But alas, I was computerless last night. That just means two posts tonight! hahahaha.....

I went to Arizona for Christmas in 2003, and before I left my mom, brother, his family and I went to a carnival/park. While we were waiting for the girls to get out of the bumper boats, I noticed the contrast in the picture above. I loved the lanterns.

This is a view from Neil's mom's back porch. Nice, eh?

This is another view from her back porch.

Ah... Costa Rica... I hope I can go back soon!

At a loss for words

I don't even know what to do anymore. I just finished writing a letter to one of my closest friends, detailing in full why I am no longer satisfied with my job: it seems this business has a bad habit of attracting people who no one can win with- people who let everything get to them and take it out on whoever is closest. But this person I am dealing with now is the tops. I've dealt with her the longest, but the problem has gotten to me the shortest. I'm trying to let it go, and block it off from getting to me, but what can you do when no matter what you do nothing is good enough. Honestly, I was more ready to walk out today than I ever was at any point before.
Tip- Never work at a small business where the boss dates the office manager, and there is no inbetween person to discuss issues with.

Pictures! Oh yeah buddy...

I am so proud of myself for being able to figure this out! I actually posted a picture! Hah! I feel so smart. Which is excellent because work is REALLY slow right now and I am at the point where I do not feel stimulated enough and my mind is going crazy! It will change. I actually posted this picture on the 12th.

My brother Garrett did something really cool back in May. He bought tickets to take himself, his wife Bryce, my Dad and his wife Connie, my Grandma, myself and my boyfriend Neil to a Giant's game at SBC Park. It was awesome. May 25th, 2005 against the LA Dodgers. The Giants won 10-2. I had never been to SBC Park, and hadn't been to a Giant's game since I was about 10 or 11. But that was only half of what made the game so awesome. No, it wasn't that the Giants Kicked the Dodgers Butts either, but that my brother Garrett! had bought tickets for all of us to go- including my boyfriend Neil!

Garrett is not as family oriented as some of the rest of us are. For example, I see Bryce about once a week, and we go shopping or get some food or watch a movie or something, together. We love spending time with each other, not only as family, but as friends. Its great. My mom spends a lot of time with my other brother Ben and his family, babysitting the kids, going on hikes/bike rides/walks, taking them to the park, just spending time together. Garrett on the other hand, will go see his friends, but doesn't really spend as much time with the family. Its not a bad thing, its just the way he is. Garrett is also the oldest child, therefore moved out first, and hasn't spent as much time around me as Ben or Bryce have. It was really big to me that he bought a ticket for Neil too, because that acknowledged (at least in my mind) that he sees me now as me, not the 13 year old brat I was when I lived with him and spent the most time with him last. Its as if he was saying "I think this guy is okay, and he looks like he's sticking around for a while. My sister seems happy, so it would be nice if I included him too."


Neil and I at a Giants game in May, 2005

I'll post the rest of the pics when I get home and onto my laptop!

Finally!

Sheesh. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Come Monday, I was more than ready for Neil to come back from his annual trek to Burning Man. Tuesday, I was so ecstatic I could barely concentrate, wondering how early he would leave and how much sooner that would mean he could call me! (Side note- I love the fact that we are secure and mature enough in our relationship to both realize and appreciate still doing things on our own- his trips to Burning Man, my upcoming trip to Arizona, girls/boys nights out, computer gaming nights, football Sundays, trips up to Chico to hang with the girls)- we aren't always attached at the hip!) Two and a half years with this one, and still going strong. I love it when he goes to Burning Man. He gets excited with the preparations and planning! So fun to watch and help out with. Next year, I'll be going too. Not for the full week and a half they usually make it, but for the weekend at least.
My mom is doing well. The surgery went well. They did find another malignant tumor, but it was in something they had already taken out, and was a 1B, so no other treatment required for that (Mom said the usual treatment is removal at that stage, and they have already done that). The main mass, however, was a 1C, still pretty good for cancer, but they are going to do Chemo anyway. She's really positive though, which helps me be positive in turn.
Yay.