Who said anything about being bored?

LOL This is what happens when you stay at home on a Friday night because you are on call, have to be at a place an hour away an hour too early the next morning, and are alone. My two cool roomates, Shelby and Layce, went to Layce's sister's house. I was invited, but an hour too early an hour away does not sound like fun after a late night out. Actually, an hour too early an hour away doesn't sound fun tomorrow at all, but if I don't go, I get dropped from this class. Next week, when we get out to the driving range, it will not be so bad. Except I haven't been to the range at all this summer, and I can bet its not going to be pretty.
My project for the next week- get the golf clubs and hit a range before class Saturday! Ack!

I am in a really good mood right now. I have been in kind of a funk lately, but its all PMS related... Well, work played a part too, but if the former hadn't been a problem, the latter would received a lesser reaction. Its amazing what moving out will do to a kid. I came back to California for my senior year, to graduate with the kids I have known my whole life, and spend more time with my grandparents. As I mentioned in a previous post, when Tawnya, my best friend aka "sister" died, I started changing. I cut off some of my closest friends (mainly Mandy, in Oregon. Mandy, again, I am sorry I wasn't there for you as a friend should have been. You are awesome, and I thank for for sticking behind me all this time. Can you believe its been four years!?!?!?) while simultaneously finding ways to draw closer to my grandparents.

Strange segue: Around the same time Tawnya was in the hospital, we learned my grandpa J had an aneurysm, and a large one at that. My aunt Maggie (the only aunt I have left in California!) was also having a 50th birthday party. The weekend we ended up going down to California, Keilani (sister in law- Ben's wife) was in labor with Jaden. We also ended up going down the same weekend as Aunt Maggie's birthday. I hadn't known just how bad Tawnya's condition was. But I had a feeling that when Jaden was born, I would lose either Tawnya or Grandpa J. The day I left California, Jaden was born. I remember telling Tawnya's family before I left the hospital that day (thanks mom, for letting me talk you into stopping by again on the way to the airport), and seeing a couple of tears fall. I knew. I went home, went to school the next day, came home to a message on the answering machine I will never forget. "Hi Jamie, this is Auntie Dee. I just called because we wanted you to know that they are going to go ahead and turn the machines off today...."

At the end of the school year, I booked it back down to California. I'm not saying I'm the perfect grandchild (heaven knows I'm not), nor am I saying I spent every spare minute with my grandparents. But I am saying that I made the right decision. I grew up living right down the street from BOTH of my sets of grandparents. They actually lived within walking distance of each other! I've spent a lot of time with both sets, and my brothers have too. They got to go camping with the Grandparents J when they were little, but by the time I was little but old enough to go too, it seems Grandpa's empyhsema kicked in, and I never got to go on those trips. I think I've always felt like that meant I HAD (voluntarily, on my part) to spend more time with them otherwise. We did puzzles, read books, ate dry cereal out of coffee mugs, shared M&Ms, and played a baseball game. I love the memories I have from spending time with them.

I am also glad I could be there for later, more serious things. I was there when Grandma J fell going into the beauty shop and broke her nose. I was there when Grandpa passed out (for the second time that morning) and went down to the hospital (again, for the second time that MORNING) and took Grandma down to the hospital. That time, he was admitted. Then came a rush of phone calls, a couple of quick plane flights, and Grandpa got to see his second great-grandson from my brother before he died. Okay, so that doesn't sound too happy. I did get to chat with Grandpa a few more times, shared a few dinners with them, had our ritual "I love you Grandpa" "I love you too, baby girl, I always will" "I will always love you too Grandpa" chat, and he was able to meet and get to know Neil a little bit too. (Brenda, I wish there was some way Neil could have met Grandpa N! They would have gotten along so well!) Every extra minute I can spend with my grandparents is a minute extra I have always treasured. They're too cool to ditch and ignore.

On a lighter note, Arizona means that I get to see my nieces and nephews again! I haven't seen Miranda, Alyssa, or Jaden for two years. (The fourth, Riley, was the second great-grandson my grandpa got to see before he died. That was just over a year ago.) I'm bummed Neil can't be there, because I want him to get to know my family a little more (me loving to spend time with him goes without saying). I'm also bummed that all of this is happening right now, because I love Neil's family, and I would LOVE to go see them too. LOL We need to get on a better schedule.

I moved out in July. Its probably one of the best things I have ever done. Not just because I was still living with my dad, but how uncomfortable I felt being there, thanks to the step-mom. I have made a rather unfortunate conclusion on her, but I would rather not post it publicly here. I may be completely wrong. Since I moved out, I've gotten back to being closer to my old self, granted 3 years older and (name a number) many years more mature. Which means right now I am an odd combination between the outgoer I was until the Spring Semester of my junior year, and the the person I have since grown to be. I don't honestly know how to explain it. I am happy, and that is really fun to be. This is the first time in 3 years that I have been this happy, been able to say "Great!" enthusiastically when asked how I am! Its Awesome. Of course, being in love helps too, but hey....