Sorry folks

I definitely don't win the award for most consistant posting, that's for sure.

Thursday night was my roomate Shelby's 21st birthday, and we had a little shin-dig at our apartment. Low key- no police were called, although the neighbor did come asking us to quiet down. Turns out it wasn't us at all, it was the guy actually below her (she lives diagonally above us, and is not a nice person anyhow). Yeah...

Friday night, two of my friends from Chico State came down to hang out. We went out to dinner, back to my place, watched movies... Nothing too exciting there.

Saturday, goodness. I forgot what I did for a minute. Saturday one of my other good friends came up to Neil's house and hung out for a while. Sunday was football, last night was homework, and now we're back to Tuesday.... Boring aren't I?

Things went better than expected today; a lot of drama I anticipated didn't happen at all, thankfully. I hadn't heard from my mom since Saturday when I called her after my golf class, and I started not liking that. So I e mailed her. Then, I realized that when my best friend was hospitalized with her chemo almost 4 years ago, I heard everything after the bad stuff had already passed. I don't want that to happen with my mom. All of a sudden, not having talked to her since Saturday freaked me out. So I wrote her again, and asked that if I don't get in touch with her one way or another, that she tries to keep me updated every other day- at least a short little e mail saying "not feeling too hot today, but feeling hot because its arizona and forecasted to be in the 100s today again..." You know, quick and easy I'm still here stuff...

She knows, and I know, that I am positive about her treatment, and that she will be fine. Its not that I think she will react to the chemo the same way I think Tawnya did. Its just that my brain has a habit of turning things into something else and overreacting. She wrote me back and said she had been thinking about me too.

Then she did what I asked her too, and filled me in on her condition. Now, some of you who have ready my blog before know that if I could have any one super power, breathing underwater (come on, how cool would that be...) would only come second to having the power to take pain/illness away from someone else and onto myself. So hearing that My MOM, one of the most awesome people I know, is achy, lightheaded, and constantly feeling wiped out is not fun for me. My mom does not sit still. She is usually always in the garden, the yard, at church, at work, or of course, with the grandkids.

I know being sick is not the same as having your body basically poisoned to kill off the cancer, but I do know that, especially for a person as active as she, not having enough energy to do what you want to do is no fun. And knowing that she will be feeling like this off and on for, what? 6 months? I'm having a hard time with it.

All I know is, I'm so thankful to finally have a place of my own (if you can call an apartment with two other roomates that... LOL) and to have the friends and family I do have. If I were still in my previous living situation, I would be falling apart even more. If I did not have the most wonderful man God ever created standing by my side, I would probably be worthless. And honestly, its not that I don't believe my mom won't come through this- I know she will. Its that I can't stand to see her go through it! Especially since I can't be there. 4 days in December is too short, and not soon enough. I've got to start looking at my calendar and see what else I can do.

Meanwhile, anyone who has any good ideas for activities that my mom can do, alone or with the kids (hey now, my brothers and I will always be her "kids"- we're just bigger kids) that won't completely wipe her out, please pass them on. Sitting at home for such an active person is getting old. She's been scrapbooking, has books, movies, puzzles... LOL we're running out of ideas. And while she doesn't have a lot of energy, even little trips/things that will get her up and around would be nice. I just can't think of any! Ideas or no, thanks for the ideas. I'm feeling a little better just having written this, and need to hit the road before they start shutting down lanes (they're doing construction on the interstate out here, and have been shutting down 2 of 3 lanes- i'm fine with that, but I have a major pet peeve about the people who wait until the absolute last nanosecond to merge. Last week, I left enough room for four cars to get in front of me, and every single one of the cars passed- goodness there must have been at least 100- and of course, at the end of the lane, they expect everyone to just let them right on in when they've had 5 miles of "Lane Closed" warnings! just merge already you ... hahaha.. won't say that word now..)

Happy writings...