Scaring the crap out of my teacher...

I have nutrition class on Tuesday nights. Last night, we were supposed to come to class prepared to work out a little- the teacher had prepared a work-out we could do easily at home or anywhere else, without needing any gym equipment. I went to class prepared, but unable to concentrate because I have been fighting off a migrane/tension headache for the last few days.

We started the exercises, and knowing I have asthma, and that sometimes the attacks come on a little harder with exercise, I took it a little easy. Apparently, not easy enough. Half way though the routine, I grabbed my inhaler and flashed it to the teacher as I ran out the door.

I'll tell you here and now you will never find me smoking a cigarette because I have seen first and foremost what it does to someone. Oh sure, one might have a few years with no problems, but before too long, one will start to notice slowly not being able to catch their breath as well. I watched my grandpa struggle to breathe as we both grew older, and I saw not only how he could barely walk around the house, but how his poor health affected the rest of our family. But back to my point.

When I ran out the door, no one followed me, but I didn't want anyone too. I had flashed the inhaler to the teacher as I ran out, so that she knew I wasn't ditching. I quickly walked outside and around the corner of the building and used my inhaler. By that point, not only did I feel like I couldn't get any air into my lungs, but it felt like my throat was closing up as well. I started feeling like I was choking, and quickly walked to the bathroom to avoid throwing up in front of everyone or in a path frequently travelled. A second shot with the inhaler and I was breathing a little better, but still struggled to catch my breath.

The whole time I was having trouble, I was thinking about my mom. I was trying to stay calm so as not to aggrivate it more, and I started thinking of what makes me feel more comfortable. Well, Mom starts Chemo today, so thinking about her made me want her here, and I got more upset because she really couldn't be here.

Either the Albuterol of the shock of the attack always makes me shaky (I think its more of the Albuterol- when I use it but am only starting to have trouble breathing, I still shake, even if I stay calm, which I am pretty good at doing. The shock and stress comes on after I can breathe again.) and my heart was racing. I had walked back to the classroom, and was still sitting outside trying to get a hang on everything when the class had a break. A nice guy (whose aunt manages the apartment complex I live in) stopped to ask if I was okay, and when I figured everyone had made it out of the classroom I went back inside to sit down. It was cooling down outside, and with the shaking, the cool was only making it worse. My teacher broke off her conversation with another student, and came to ask me if I was okay.

She saw how much I was shaking, and checked my pulse. I usually have a fairly high heart rate anyway, but with the attack it was soaring. (Sorry, I don't have an exact number for all of you other medcally interested people.) That scared her as it was, but I was still wheezing, so she was even more concerned. She asked if I wanted fruit, water, or what else she could do, but at that point, there was nothing more to do (that I knew of) than to wait for it all to calm down again. Connie (teacher) led me back outside, brought out some of the cut melons she had brought as a snack, and had another girl sit outside with me until I could breathe okay and stop shaking. (Which was cool because a storm was coming in and we were able to watch the lightning strikes on the horizon.)

An hour and a half later, I was still shaking. Granted, when I shake, it is usually just one side/extremity. Last night, it was my right arm. Class got out, and everyone went home. By that time, if I could hold on to something, the shaking was a little better. I was a little hesitant, but felt I could drive. Connie lives in the same apartment complex that I do, and though I politely refused a ride home (there was no way to get my manual transmission car home) she did follow me to the complex to ensure I made it safely. We parted ways, and as soon as I parked I called her to thank her (I really felt like giving her a big hug, but was not about to walk across the complex to do so- so, I am going to try to come up with something neat to get her as thanks instead) and let her know I was making it to my door in safety.

Still shaking slightly and trying not to cough, by the time I finally was able to lie down, I felt so wiped out I could barely move. Oh my mind was racing, and I had a hard time falling asleep, but my body felt like I had swam across the San Francisco Bay. It is always hard breathing after an asthma attack. One breath in too deep, and a coughing fit will start. If you're like me and you cry a little bit because of the stress, you can't breathe in through your nose. When I finally lay down, I found I had to ease myself down in order to avoid the fit. I called my mom, but had to cut the call short. Mind still racing, I popped in a DVD, and soon enough was able to fall asleep.

I consider myself lucky. I have never been to the hospital for an asthma attack, don't take medication for it daily, and rarely have the attacks. I keep trying to convince myself part of the asthma is really me being out of shape, but in reality I know that is not entirely true. It doesn't help, but asthma is asthma unfortunately. I am still tired today. I can't wait to go home and go to bed early! The only thing I have to do when I get home is clean the bathroom so it is presentable for people coming over tomorrow (tomorrow is my roomate Shelby's birthday- a few friends/famly are coming over to celebrate, and our bathroom is the "shared" bathroom that does not involve going into a bedroom to get to). And today is going slow! Let's get it moving! Please!