See? That wasn't so hard was it?

Okay. I'm finally signed up for classes next semester. EMT and Ceramics. At least if I get EMT out of the way, I'll stop thinking about it... And, I have a lot of prerequisites before I can even get near nursing anyway. But now I also know exactly which classes I need to take (none of which include any more math! yay... unless I decide to brush up before chemistry... hmmm... not to worry about this semester though) and how long that should take me will depend on the depth of the class.

Anyway. I'm happy. And, that's really nice to be.

Splendid...

(Note: Sarcasm)

So Neil just called.

I was supposed to pick him up at the airport tonight. Supposed.

Neither of us paid enough attention to his itenerary to notice that the flight was yesterday. (He usually flies in on say, Tuesday, and flies back on the same day of the next week.) He even went to the airport this morning, and didn't find out about the flight until he got there. The soonest he can get on one again is Thursday morning! He's supposed to get in around 5, and the Sacramento Airport is about an hour away. Dinner at Dad's is at 4. There goes that idea.

So this morning I'm bummed. Not only am I still itchy from the unknown rash, but I don't get to pick Neil up tonight, AND, the first holiday we were going to spend together with MY family, we won't...

Great start today eh?

Here's a fun game!

Not...


I woke up this morning and went in to go take a shower... While the water warmed, and I brushed my teeth, I didn't see anything wrong with my face... Looked like my normal, still to early to be awake face. Then I washed it, and it felt grainy. Not the kind of grainy found when washing with a scrub (quite nice usually) but a grainy that started itching... I dried my face off gently, and when I could look in the mirror, I saw it was redder than usual. Upon closer inspection, I have a slight rash. At least, I think its a rash...

Its not really visible, especially since I was dumb enough to put powder on top of it this morning. But there are little bumps, overall a little pinkish, and quite itchy... The only other time I've had something like this was when I learned I'm allergic to Gain laundry detergent.
As far back as I can remember, we've always used Tide or Arm and Hammer Laundry detergent, but when I moved into my apartment, I switched to Gain, which my roomates were using, in order to safe money... That didn't work, and now I'm back to Tide, and usually itch free.

Now my face?!? And so far, behind my left ear. Grr... I took A benadryl this morning to keep some of the itch down, and keep me awake enough to function. Its helping a little bit, but I think I'm going to have to stop by the store on the way home tonight to pick up cream instead.


The Fun part? I have no idea where this is coming from this time. Not using any new products (within the last 2-3 weeks) and this doesn't look like a reaction I've had from meds. but I'm wondering if its really Gain I'm allergic to, or something unhidden that is now cropping up again? Grr..

Anyway. My stomach is calling, and its hungry.

Bummer...

My stereo broke. This is not good! I love my music, love listening to the radio in the morning... I've been listening to the same radio show since I moved back to California... Its part of my routine! And now my stereo doens't work! No reason why either. I plugged it in (it was off when I plugged it in) and it doesn't turn on. No lights or anything...

So my laptop is my makeshift stereo. The thing I like about that is - no comercials! But, I don't have a lot of music on here, and definitely not the stuff I really want to listen to.

Anyway. lights are doing me in right now, and I'm going to go curl into a ball until my head stops pounding....

Spoiled Rotten

And loving every minute of it.



Yep. Neil spoils me. But I spoil him too, and don't take it for granted so its okay.



Don't know us well enough and need an example? Read on.


I gross my office out every time Neil goes away (be it to Burning Man, Costa Rica, or some other week long trek), because every time, he sends me flowers. Because he knows I miss him. Every time. Flowers definitely don't replace not being able to talk to my best friend, but they sure are pretty. (they get grossed out because no one else does anything like that)

Another? Both of us can't stand holding onto a gift we bought in advance if we know the other will really like it. Last year, he bought me a laptop for my birthday, and gave it to me in November so we could use it on our trip to Costa Rica to watch DVDs. I can't remember what I gave him early for Christmas, but I know he fought me giving it to him (he fights me giving him almost anything, he just doesn't like me spending money on him... its not that he doesn't think he's worth it, but at the same time, that might be part of it).

He left for Costa Rica early early yesterday morning, and before he left, he gave me a new digital camera he had intended to give me for Christmas. He wanted me to be able to take pictures with it (thought I'm not going anywhere this week to take pictures of) and doesn't think the camera he gave me last Christmas is good enough.

And this afternoon, low and behold, a lovely boquet of flowers arrived at my office.

I had a wonderful title picked, and I just forgot what it was!

SHeesh!

Anyway. I gave in.

I finally booked an appointment to get my head checked out. I hate going in to see a doc, mostly because I always feel like nothing has been accomplished. I don't go in for an Rx, I want the problem solved.

I've been getting a lot of migranes lately. By a lot, I mean just about one a day (if it even goes away) for the last two and a half weeks. Give or take a day or three. I haven't had them this bad for a long time.

I took a suggestion and tried sinus headache medication, but that doens't do anything. Advil, Tylenol, nothing will touch my head. (I know those wont help migranes anyway, but I had tried them because I am not totally convinced they are all migranes- hence, the appointment.) The prescription migrane med I have I won't take if I can't go home, and I'm sorry, but I can't afford to go home every day. When I was in high school, I couldn't go home during the day either. So, I've basically learned to live with it. If you have ever had a migrane, you know what it is like...

But I'm going to get more aggressive. I can't tolerate this anymore. I'm getting another one as I write. Yesterday, it started on the left side in the back of my head, moved up behind my left eye, then finally settled behind my right eye. This afternoon, its settling hard behind my left eye... I've missed 3 nights of classes in the last 4 weeks, because of this. Last semester, I got them alot, but not nearly as much as I am now.

Last time I saw my doc, he put me on Verapamil- a calcium channel blocker that is also a preventative med (i think) for these darn things. But as we talked, he said to try that for a while, if it didn't seem to be helping, stop that, and another med i was taking, and see how it goes. I did, and it didn't change. So now I'm back on, and they're still not changing.

I'm sick of not being able to focus. I'm sick of being in pain. I never used to get nausea with them too, and now I do every time. I'm sick of it! SICK SICK SICK...

So, I go in at 7 tonight to see what's going on. I just hope I can still see by then.


Update- 9:31 p.m. Same day...
I went in, but since they ouldnt get me in until the after hours clinic, the doc didn't want to do much, and said i really need to follow up with my pcp. which I plan on doing first thing tomorrow morning. he did write me 2 rxs, 1 for an anti-nausea med (which was a great thing, becuase about 2 hours after this post lost my lunch and everything that came before it. ) and the other for an additional preventative med... I just hate taking meds... I also hate people who aren't medical professionals trying to tell me what my problem is when they really have no idea what they are talking about. just because you worked in a doctors office does not mean you know my whole story and have the right to tell me what i should do. i didnt' ask for your opinion. Anyway... off to crash until morning... and maybe then some.

Weekend...

Follow up- I talked to Neil last night about the holiday thing, and I know its just not something he thinks about. I think we are going to go to my dad's for dinner, and go see his dad later that weekend. Which will be fine. But I have a problem controlling the tone of my voice, and come across really pissed off sometimes when I am not. And at that moment, the worst thing someone can do is say "you're pissed". THAT, throws me off the edge. So quite often, when Neil and I are just talking, and I am calming myself down for something I shouldn't even be upset about, he will say something to the fact that I am angry, and I just can't get him to understand I have a tendency to vocally react before my mind mulls over something. IE the holidays. Before we had a chance to talk, we had a couple of things to pick up, so we went to the store. I didn't feel like talking, and we had to get into one store before they closed to look for a syringe to use for the tri-tip we were having for dinner. (If you've never tried that, they usually sell syringes you can use for injecting marinades into meat with deep fryer kits, or kitchen specialty stores usually have them. They are great!) But I didn't want to talk until we got everything out of the way and could talk undistractedly. Which gave off the impression that I really was mad. I've been working on not getting "mad" as he puts it, for the last three years. Sometimes I do get upset. I admit that, but he of all people, knows that telling me how you think I feel does not make anything better. Still, he does! Today, I find it funny. Because we also know that we solve whatever problems that may come up quickly. I can't stand thinking that I might have done something wrong and that he's not happy with me. So I get over it, and we talk some more.

I love talking to Neil. He's so intelligent it amazes me constantly. Anyway. I am off to go find gifts for a baby shower tomorrow... But I wanted to post the requested picture of Keilani... I took this out at dinner last Saturday Night while I was in Arizona. Hope ya'll are having a great weekend. Talk to you soon.

Alyssa and Keilani

Holidays...

Its starting already.

Who else has half of their Christmas shopping done?

I know, its disgusting. I really do.




Right now though, I'm stuck. Neil and I have already made plans for Christmas, unfortunatley, they are separate. Why? I will be in Arizona. I need to be with my mom. He will be in North Carolina, because his step-niece and nephew will not be with their mom (Allison, Neil's brother Ray's wife) next year, and his mom asked for his whole family to be together with the kids. They haven't had a holiday together in a long time. His sister is flying out from Oregon, and all 3 kids will be together for Christmas for the first time in they can't even remember how long.

Last Thanksgiving, we were in Costa Rica, with his mom, and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with his mom. The year before that, I was in Arizona for Christmas and we spent Thanksgiving with is dad. See a pattern? Neil doesn't come with me for holidays with my family, and my dad gets overlooked.

This year I have had a really heavy heart and a strong desire to actually spend Thanksgiving with my dad. The last few years, he has done a dinner the Saturday after, but not only was I still in Costa Rica last year, it just isn't the same.

Last weekend, my dad called, invited Neil and I to his house for Thanksgiving, and said we'll decide on the details later. No problem, except Neil doesn't remember talking about it. My memory isn't perfect either, but I know we talked about eating at my dad's, then going to his dad's over the weekend.

Apparently, that conversation didn't happen. Neil's dad called today and invited us to Thanksgiving dinner with their family. Neil agreed, then called me to let me know the plan.

Their dinner is far enough away we can't do both. We haven't seen his dad this year (okay Neil went fishing with him once, for half a day), and I'd really like to spend time with his side of the family- I haven't met anyone there.

And now I'm thinking, how much of an overeacting emotional something am I? I'm crying (almost) over this.

But is it really too much to ask to spend time with my family too?

No, it isn't.

So I'm going to take a deep breath, and move on to something else.

Its one holiday. There will be plenty more to share.

Two weeks already eh?

Wow. I can't believe its been two weeks since I have posted last. I suppose my only excuse is that I have been stressed out, busy, and attacked with multiple migranes/whatever type of headache I am constantly hit with, that might not have yet been properly diagnoed.

Anyway. Things are (hopefully) calming down now, and I'm hoping to keep on here more. To make up for it, I've posted a bunch of pictures from my trip to Arizona this weekend. I flew out to Phoenix Friday night, to see my mom and surprise my niece Alyssa for her birthday. Sad thing was, when I knocked on her door Saturday morning, she didn't know who I was! So, I'm bound and determined to not let two years go by again in which they do not see me. Its just not cool for the kids not to know their aunt! Sheesh.

I had a great time though, got a major piece of mind about how well my mom is doing (which is, extremely well, considering).

I went ice skating for my first time, with Alyssa's friends for her birthday party- and I didn't fall once! Even with 2-3 kids at a time running into me.... Which brings up another point- if you ever go ice skating, or rollerskating/blading for that matter, with kids, watch out. They tend to use adults they are familiar with as a wall/stopping point. If you're not used to skating, that can get challenging.

Anyway. I can't think of much else to say, mostly because my head is starting to erupt in pain again, and I want to hit the hay. Enjoy the pictures (sorry, they're not that tallented, and completely unedited) and I'll try to keep posting.

Ben and Jaden

I forget what kind of baboon this is

Kids at the wall

Riley and Mima

Roses

All four

Kids and Zebras

Gotta have that Ice Cream

Riley with Alyssa's roses

Jaden