That doesn't really help...

My sister in law just called. She and my brother are getting a divorce. Knowing that I’m not the only one right now going through this type of a loss (though hers is probably much more painful, they were together longer and were actually married) does not help me any. It does not surprise me, that brother is not exactly the most talkative and once his mind is set on something, he doesn’t budge. I feel somewhat bad for both of them, but at the same time I know that this is best for them both. Saying I saw it coming doesn’t sound right, but … I think it will be really good for her, and she will be happier without him. He’s not a bad guy, but… I think you might have to understand him to know what I’m talking about. I just know that I’m relieved for her not to have to work hard on a marriage that is one sided. And I’m proud of him for finally saying it. I can’t see Bryce as really being remorseful over this. I can see this as being a great relief and excellent precursor to wonderful things in her life.

The difference is that she was happy, and he is a wall, and Neil and I were both happy together. He just wasn’t sure enough to keep going. Hopefully, that will change, but again, I’m not counting on it. Bryce is a great gal, and I know she will be fine. I am sorry to see their marraige end. I know I will be fine too, but its not as easy for me to see. Sometimes, I come really close to losing my will to live. Honestly. But I do count my blessings daily. And even more honestly, losing Neil is only going to make me count more blessings. Losing someone extremely important to me does that. When Tawnya died, I moved back to Cali to be closer to my grandparents. I got to spend more time with my grandpa before he died, and I will always treasure that. I’ve been able to spend more time with both of my grandmas too, but now one has moved up to Oregon and lives 6 blocks from my old house! Sheesh…

I was glad that my grandpa got to meet Neil, and liked him. I was always sorry that he didn’t get to meet Grandpa Neckels, because I think they would have really liked each other. I’m sorry now that most likely the man I marry won’t have met either of my grandpas, and that is a bummer… Before Grandpa Neckels died, he promised he would be at my wedding, and my 50th anniversary. I was looking forward to that, though I know the latter especially was not going to be a reality. He’s with me in my heart though, and always will be.

I look forward to being as great to my grandchildren as my grandparents have been to me. And, I’m hoping when that time is right, that my kids will love their grandparents like I’ve loved mine…

Someday…. One can always dream.