Don't even know.

I don't even know what to write right now, but I am bored and need to do something. I am going to head to class early, and copy down the ISBN numbers off the books I'll need next semester so I can get that out of the way and buy them cheaper on half.com... Sierra likes to stick us with "required" packets that aren't really required. Last spring, that ended up costing me about $75 more than the books should have. So, I buy what I'll risk buying ahead of time, and get the rest after I meet the teachers and see what they really want us to use.

Lately, things have been weird. Neil and I are doing great, but I've realized that every year around this time I get antsy about marriage. I know we're not rushing into anything, but I've come to think its part of a little kick I fall into every fall/winter. I get depressed. Call it "winter blues". Nothing happens fast enough, though really everything is going just as it should. I get sad easilly, and don't know why. I feel alone, although I'm not. I start thinking I'm not doing enough, though while I could be doing more, I'm already doing a lot. Thoughts start popping into my head that haven't for a long time, and honestly don't need to be there. This week so far (*knock on wood*) is okay, but if it starts coming back again, I might get a little worried.

Anyway. I'm still looking for a new position, and am hoping that if I find something with a more flexible schedule I can take on more classes. Which will probably mean financial aid, but if it gets me through school faster, so be it. I'm also going to plan on taking summer courses too, just to keep moving along. At least now I know what pre-reqs I have to take in order to get into the nursing program at Sierra! I've had a few people I really trust either tell me flat out or hint that I need to drop work and go to a 4 year, but right now, I'm just not ready to do that. Call it lazy, I call it scared. A new job is enough change, and maybe if I start taking more classes, then by the time I am ready to transfer maybe I can make school a full time thing.

Unfortunately, right now, getting these migranes under control is a higher priority. I can't go to class if I can't see out of one eye or am throwing up... And, my PCP is starting up a private practice, so until he gets a contract with my insurance again, I have to see someone new! I'm so bummed. For now, we've decided to give the 2 preventative meds another month or so to see how they work, and might try another med. If that doesn't work, its off to a neurologist/headache specialist. I suck at keeping a headache diary.

Lately, I've been bummed that I'm not getting enough time with friends. Actually, that has been turning more into, do I even have friends who want to spend time with me? Most of the girls I know have a primary choice for hanging out with that does not involve me. And that kind of stinks. I'm trying to spend more time with my roomates, but our schedules usually don't match that well. Especially Shelby and I. Layce and I get a chance to chat at night when I'm home, but Shelby spends more time with her boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, Neil is fantastic, I couldn't ask for any better, but I've gotta have my girl time. And since Garrett and Bryce (brother and his wife) moved down closer to me, Bryce and I don't spend as much time together... Strangely.

Saturday night I went up to Foresthill and had dinner with Grandma. That is always fun. And, I'm beating myself up now for not doing it more. Grandma's too cool not to spend time with.

I'm excited though, I can't wait until Friday. 1) I am going to the DMV to renew my license/get a new picture (no more tie-dyed shirt... (hey, it was spirit week at school when I went in to get my license for California)) 2) I'm going to dinner with dad! hahaha... Hopefully, I can hang out with the girls after that. But I get to hang out with my dad! I love doing that.

Anyway. Off to get those numbers for the books.